I’m writing the first and last bits of this post in July even though I wrote out my “20 things” list back in March (I guess you could say I was ahead of schedule). A lot has obviously changed between then and now, which I will address in the updates sections.
For now, here are 20 things I *think* I’ve learned in my now 20 years of existence.
Oh, and BTW: my birthday was on the 22nd. I am no longer ahead of schedule.
- Not everyone shares your values/sees things the same way as you.
- Being yourself in a world that wants you to conform is the ultimate form of self assurance.
- Related: you don’t have to do everything everyone else is doing.
- Related: You have your own permission to go at your own pace and you don’t need anyone else’s permission to do so.
- You are beautiful. Your skin color is not a deficient of beauty.
- Related: Neither is your hair. Reclaim your kinky curly crown.
- It’s okay to take breaks when you need to. Forcing yourself to continue doing something just for the sake of being on schedule is detrimental to your passion for that thing.
- Making Spotify playlists for different moods is literally the best idea ever. Make allllll the playlists.
- You’ve also discovered you really like road trips this year specifically! Time for new playlists!!
- Your brain is always trying to make you think the worst possible outcome will happen, and it’s funny because it’s literally never true. Stop thinking that way and have more faith in yourself.
- Give yourself credit. Give yourself credit. Give yourself c r e d i t.
- Social media has really warped your view of things in the last few years. You just began to recognize how true that is this year. You committed to changing that, so you unfollowed some people, followed some other people, and changed your feeds for the better. You grew. Good job.
- Your productivity does not equal your worth. Slow days are good days.
- You are a work in progress, as cliche as that sounds. Be patient with your evolution.
- You’re never going to be just one thing or do just one thing. You’re multifaceted and capable of being and doing a lot.
- Related: but that doesn’t mean you can do everything. I know, this is a tragic realization for a girl who’s constantly putting her hands in new hobby cookie jars.
- Society has implicitly made you believe that if you’re not profiting from your hobbies, they are meaningless/not worth pursuing. That’s not true and capitalism sucks. Keep doing what you’re doing and if it someday turns a profit? Cool.
- You are one emotional creature. For awhile, you thought this to be a con or a detriment of your personality. But in reality? You’re just SUPER emotionally intelligent and that’s amazing. Yeah you feel a lot, but you also have the capacity to articulate how you feel and help others recognize what they feel too. Girl, that is a super power.
- Personal boundaries are necessary, valid, and absolutely NEED to be clearly communicated in interpersonal relationships. Nobody benefits from you being quiet about your needs or desires–especially not you.
- You’ve officially entered your 20s, and your experiences in the next ten years will teach you a lot. Look for the lesson in every situation, and no matter what, keep it pushing.
Alright, so let’s address the elephant in the room: I abandoned my blog at the beginning of May. There, I said it! I admit it!
Thinking back, I was able to pinpoint 3 reasons behind the sudden drop in motivation to blog:
1) In May, I was still in school and I was going through a rough patch in my personal life (which is ALL GOOD now!) Those two things were taking quite a toll on my leisure time and my mental health.
2) Even though this is far from over, COVID news was at a height and I was overloading on media pertaining to it. This kind of put me in a crisis mindset, and even though COVID 100% is a crisis, I was thinking about it too much and too often. I guess one thing I should’ve added to my list is that it’s good to be informed, but… don’t over do it. Media breaks are a good thing.
3) George Floyd’s murder on May 25th. This, on top of the two above things, really took me out of commission. Witnessing that tragic event as a black girl in America, I just shut. down.
Truthfully, April and May were just extremely tough months for me.
With all of that being said, I’d like to think I’m doing better a few months later towards the end of July. I feel like I’m finally coming out of a reading slump that started in February and I’m starting to feel some semblance of creativity again.
And with that being said…
Even though I abandoned the blog in May, I was still able to continue making videos and posting once a week on my booktube channel. Lately, booktube has been the platform I am most invested in. Why? Well, I’ve thought of a lot of reasons: I’m able to convey my personality more on camera than I am in writing. I have a lot of fun editing videos. I get more interaction in my YouTube comments than I do my blog comments. I’m growing faster there. Etc.
Okay, so I know what you’re thinking: Cierra’s retiring the blog.
No. I’m not. First of all, I’m keeping this blog because it is my baby. Second, I’m not even extending this “break” I’ve taken.
What I’m actually doing is shifting my priorities. Until I say otherwise, I’m releasing myself of a blog posting schedule. In other words, I am going to post when I feel like I have something compelling to say.
One thing I noticed myself doing towards the onset of this absence was that I was posting just because I felt like I had to. IDK about you, but I don’t want to click and read something that feels pointless. Sometimes you can feel when bloggers post just to post. Their words feel empty and thoughtless. I don’t want to do that, so I won’t do that.
Simple enough, right?
Here’s the TL;DR of this post:
I learned some stuff in the last 20 years.
I was going through it in April/May and that’s why I disappeared from the book blogosphere.
I’m shifting my more of my energy to my booktube channel because I feel like you get to know me better there on video than here in my writing.
And I’m going to post here when I have something meaningful to say.
To know when that is, click follow and rest assured that I will not spam your email with posts that you won’t care about.